The Amish have traditionally held out against the new and novel and this has included new music releases. Actually they have been against any music in any form so pretty much any music would be a new music release to them. At any rate, turns out they were right about this and here is a list of six reasons the Amish were right about new music releases;
1. It leads to handholding and premarital side hugging.
2. It has been linked to a rise in the popularity of pocket-pool among young men.
3. It causes tent pitching.
4. Induces young people to cruise up and down the dirt road in their buggies.
5. Has been linked to dancing.
6. Fills young people’s head’s with wild ideas like going to the Big City.
As you can see, by taking a look at our society, the Amish were totally right; our cities are full of young people. They’ve abandoned their buggies and cruise around in sports cars. When they’re not doing that, they’re out pitching tents.
I tell you there’s trouble, right here in River City, with a capital ‘T’ that rhymes with ‘P’ and that stands for pool.
Soon, kids will start using words like ‘swell’ and ‘cool.’ One even looked at me the other day and said “Hey, Daddy-O.”
It’s just a good thing we have a lot of Amish folks in our government or all Heck would break loose. True, one was caught listening to new music releases on his phonograph but, at least he wasn’t the President, or maybe he was….